Let Me Hold Your Hand
by fearlessly
Summary: Kurt opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out except a pathetic broken sob. Hearing Blaine's words and watching his body shut down from heartache was nothing short of excruciating for Kurt. He knew Blaine was right. If he walked out there was no coming back... Comments / Reviews welcome ;) I don't own Glee or any songs used.
1. Prologue: For The Last Time

**Prologue: For the Last Time**

May 2015

Blaine clutched at his heart. His fingers curled into a fist against the wool of his cardigan. The bluntness of Kurt's words forced him to take a step backward, though all he wanted to do was go forward – toward Kurt. …_Don't let him go_.

Blaine's gaze lifted – it was the most natural thing in the world to lock eyes with Kurt. It had become their way of staying connected and anchored – simply put, it was home. This time, though, it hurt. It hurt more than anything because when he looked into Kurt's eyes they were blank. _Please Kurt, no_.

The moment played over in Blaine's mind. He didn't comprehend it – he didn't _want_ to comprehend it: _This is all moving too fast for me_, Kurt had said. _Santana and Brittany's wedding drove it home for me, Blaine. I'm just not ready for any of this. I was wrong to run back to you and I'm sorry._ _I really am_.

He had been disappointed when Kurt had declined to marry him at their friends' wedding but part of him had been relieved because it would have given them the chance to take things at their own pace and to plan their own special day; however, in the days after the wedding Blaine had noticed that Kurt was acting strange – introspective, distant. He thought it would get better once they moved back to New York but it never did. Kurt actually became more withdrawn - but never in a million years did Blaine think it would come to this. Not again. Not a third time.

The words haunted him: _I was wrong to run back to you. _Did Kurt really just break up with him again? Blaine breathed a deep sigh. He felt it pierce his lungs. He felt light-headed and on the verge of hysterics but he needed to get it out. He forced himself to speak; his voice was slow and shaky, "Kurt, please." He broke down. His sobs stifled all the words he needed to say but with a heaving chest, he desperately made himself spit them out, "Kurt… I love… you and if you… don't want to… get… married, I'll wait for you. Please. I'll wait an eternity just don't do this to us." His eyes searched those deep blue pools he loved so much but Kurt's dull, expressionless gaze said it all.

A soft whispered voice, "I love you, Blaine - you know I do but it hurts too much to be with you and not be able to give everything to our relationship. I'm broken and have nothing to give."

"I can be patient," Blaine cried. "And you give me so much. You've always given me so much love. I can help you. Please Kurt, this is ripping me apart."

Kurt suddenly released what he had been holding in for weeks. His sobs came in a flurry; there was no stopping them. He had to leave before he changed his mind. He just couldn't take the way Blaine was looking at him – it was beyond heart breaking. "I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry but I just can't." He picked up his satchel and slung it over his shoulder. The tears in his eyes made everything blurry but he found his way to the door.

"Kurt." Blaine's voice stopped him.

Kurt turned, his chest was aching, his breath hitched deep in his throat as he struggled to breathe through the intense sobs. He saw that Blaine was moving towards him. He put his hand up to make him stop but Blaine ignored it and continued until he stopped just inches away from him. Kurt could see the intense hurt in his eyes. He knew those eyes by heart. He knew when they were happy or excited or sad or in pain – but he had never seen them like this. He saw pain but also something so much worse - devastation. Blaine cried unabashedly. His voice was pleading and hysterical, "Kurt, this is it. Everything… we've worked so hard for… ends right now. Is that really what you want?" His hazel irises searched for any signs of recant from Kurt. "Because… I love you… so much - but if you walk away from me now… know that it will be for the last time…" He struggled to stay upright. He struggled to breathe but forced himself to continue, "because my heart… will not survive this time. I will never be able to love again – not you, not anyone."

Kurt opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out except a pathetic broken sob. Hearing Blaine's words and watching his body shut down from heartache was nothing short of excruciating for Kurt. He knew Blaine was right. If he walked out there was no coming back. This was it. It was over. It hurt to have to say good-bye to his soulmate – to the one person he loved more than anything - but how could he stay with the torment he had in his heart? How could he give Blaine everything he deserved if he was suffering in darkness? He placed his hand over his mouth, he was sure he would vomit at any moment. "I'm so sorry," he whispered through his fingers then turned and ran out the door.


	2. Chapter One - A New Beginning

**Chapter One: A New Beginning**

October 2018

Blaine couldn't help but smile as he read the incoming texts. They were a nice break. He had been working a lot lately. His career had really taken off in the past year – finally and he was in high demand. Writing Broadway musicals was his passion, he felt extremely lucky to be able to do something he loved and actually get paid for it. It had been a hard road. After the break-up, which Blaine made a conscious effort to not think about anymore, he dropped out of NYADA. At the time he had not been at a place where he could concentrate on his classes or on anything but survival so he was very grateful that he was able to work in a field he loved despite the absence of a music degree he once valued so much. His phone buzzed again:

_Ready for a break? _

Blaine typed back:

_That depends. _

_On? _

_On whether you're ready for one too. _

_I'm always ready for a break with you. _

_Should I go up or are you coming down? _

_Well, if you come upstairs there might be a surprise for you. ;)_

Blaine grinned. It had been a long journey to get to this place, this place of happiness and love. It had been a while since he was able to breathe without feeling pain. He smiled and typed his response:

_I'll be right up. :)_

Blaine wandered upstairs and into his boyfriend's home office. He found him sitting at his computer still working. He stopped at the door and watched him for a moment. Blaine swooned at his beauty – his dark complexion and handsome features. Kevin kept his black hair short and neatly styled and Blaine thought he had the most gorgeous brown eyes. "I thought you were ready," Blaine smiled.

Kevin looked up at the sweet interruption. He took off his glasses, tossed them on his desk and stood up to greet his boyfriend. "Always," he said as his hands slid onto Blaine's hips and pulled him forward into a kiss. Their lips devoured each other – slowly, gently. Kevin eventually, and reluctantly, broke the kiss. He left Blaine breathless at the door as he moved to retrieve a package. "Open it," he said, handing it to Blaine.

"Kevin, what is this?" Blaine smiled.

"Just open it, sweetheart."

Blaine tugged delicately at the bright blue ribbon and meticulously pulled at the tape. He unwrapped the gift to reveal a golden box. He looked up at Kevin who was grinning from ear to ear.

"You are the world's slowest gift opener," he smiled.

Blaine gave a half wink, "you know I like to take my time with things that matter."

"I know that very well."

Blaine opened the box. What he saw astounded him. "Kevin…"

"I couldn't wait. I know it's only been eight months. I was planning on giving it to you when we hit our one year but I know you have an opening in a couple weeks and I wanted you to have it for that."

"I can't accept this, Kevin. It's too much."

Kevin stepped forward and removed the Rolex from its box. He gently placed it around Blaine's wrist. He smiled when he saw that he had been right in choosing this particular one because the gold looked perfect against Blaine's skin and it matched the flecks in his eyes so beautifully. "When are you going to accept the fact that nothing is too much for you? Hmmm?" He placed a finger beneath Blaine's chin and lifted his gaze. "Nothing makes me happier than spoiling you, sweetheart. I know you've had a rough few years but that's over now. You are mine and I am yours and I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much that means to me."

Blaine didn't know what to say. It wasn't often that he was rendered speechless. He could only stare at the incredibly posh watch around his wrist. He felt Kevin's finger tilt his head upward until their gazes locked. He was in awe of this man. He was so grateful for this man who quite literally had saved his life. "Thank you, Kevin. Thank you so much. I really don't know what else to say except, I love you."

"I know how much those words mean, Blaine. I know you thought you could never love anyone ever again so to know that despite that, you have chosen to love _me_ makes me the happiest man on the planet." He smiled and tugged his boyfriend closer. "Now what do you say we blow the rest of the day off, hmmm?"

Blaine laughed, "you are such a bad influence on me."

"Bad?" Kevin's finger traced Blaine's jawline seductively. "That's not quite what you were screaming last night."

Blaine pressed his lips together and blushed. He looked down as he remembered the previous night - s_o, so hot._

"Speaking of which…" Kevin whispered and drew him closer. Blaine moaned softly into the kiss. His heart pounded his chest as he felt his body succumb to Kevin's presence. Yes, he was grateful for this – it had been a long time coming but he had survived. He knew that he was capable of love again. It had taken three excruciating years but he found love and there was no way he was going to let it go this time.


	3. Chapter Two - The Call

**Chapter Two: The Call**

October 2018

The break had been good – really good. In fact, it had been fantastic. Blaine couldn't stop gazing at Kevin as he sat across him at the dinner table.

"This is really good, sweetheart," Kevin took a bite of chicken. "Where did you get the recipe?"

"Oh, it's just something I whipped up."

"I'm going to miss sitting down to dinner with you. I have evening shifts coming up."

"Really? At the hospital?"

"No, the clinic. Jane is on vacation so I'm picking up some of her patients as well as mine. I'm sorry I'm going to be a bit busy the next couple weeks but you know there is never a lull in the world of pediatrics."

Blaine wiped his mouth delicately. "It's okay. I understand. Luckily I just submitted my latest musical so it'll be a waiting game for the next couple weeks. I actually don't have anything planned until the opening night of _The Warblers_. So… I will have all the time in the world to bring my awesome boyfriend some homemade dinners," he said proudly.

"You are amazing, Blaine."

"I know," he winked with a slight tilt of his head.

Kevin gazed at him from across the table. If it hadn't been for the sudden interruption he may have had the inclination to take Blaine upstairs on another "break".

Blaine heard his phone ringing. "I really want to ignore that," he said.

"It's impossible for you to ignore a phone call. In eight months I've never seen you do it."

"You're right. I'm way too curious," he went to find his phone in the living room and answered: "Hello?"

"Good evening, I am looking to speak with a Mr. Blaine Anderson."

"This is he."

"Mr. Anderson, my name is Becca. I'm calling from the Manhattan Metro Hospital. Do you know a Mr. Kurt Hummel?"

Silence. _Kurt. Kurt Hummel. Hospital? _Blaine could feel his chest tightening.

"Mr. Anderson?"

"Y-yes. I'm here. I'm sorry, did you say… Kurt Hummel?" It was the first time he had said his name out loud in years.

"Yes, Sir. We retrieved your information from Mr. Hummel's wallet. You are the only contact on his emergency card. Is it safe to assume that you're related to him?"

_Emergency? What? Kurt. Hospital._

"Mr. Anderson?"

Blaine shook his head. _No. Don't cry, Blaine. Don't you dare fucking cry._ He took a shaky breath, "Yes. I know him. Is he…"

Becca cut him off. It was obvious she was experienced with these types of calls. "Mr. Anderson, he's alive but I'm sorry to inform you that he's been in a terrible accident. I think it would be good if you could come to the hospital. The doctors will have more information for you when you arrive."

"He's alive." Blaine breathed a sigh of relief then without even thinking he said, "Okay, I'll be right there."

"He's in surgery now but by the time you arrive he'll be admitted to the sixth floor."

"Surgery? O-okay. Thank you."

Blaine didn't hang up. He simply let the phone slip from his hands and bounce onto the sofa cushions. He followed suit and fell to sit. His emotions were all over the place. He didn't know what to feel or what to think… _Kurt. Kurt._ His head swam in confusion. His heart fluttered painfully.

"Sweetheart?"

Blaine looked up. Kevin was kneeling beside him, the concern evident on his face. "Blaine, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay."

"Tell me what happened. Who was that?"

"I-I have to go to the hospital. Kurt has been in an accident."

"Kurt? Your… ex?

Blaine nodded and thought, _my ex._

"And they called _you_?"

Blaine looked directly into Kevin with searching eyes. "I… I was Kurt's emergency contact. He obviously didn't get around to changing it."

"Do you want me to come with you? I don't think you're okay to drive."

Blaine's voice had become hoarse. "No. No. I'm sorry, Kevin. I just, I need to go alone. I need to go now."

"Okay but you're not driving. Let me at least drop you off."

"I'll take a cab," Blaine stood up to find his coat. He pushed on his shoes, grabbed his wallet and phone and moved towards the door in a haze. _Kurt. Hospital._

Kevin could only watch his boyfriend leave. He realized in that moment – from the way Blaine had acted, from the way he had been reduced to a stuttering mess, from the way his eyes had flickered and from the way his voice had changed - that nothing would ever be the same between them again.

Blaine was furious with himself. After all the pain, anguish, and work he went through to keep Kurt Hummel in his past – after all the self-loathing, depression, and heartache he had endured in the last three years – he let one three minute phone call from a stranger completely shatter his heart. He let himself be completely driven by that one word: _Kurt_.

But in this circumstance, there was no way he could stay furious. Simply, he was distraught with worry. Kurt had been in a terrible accident. He didn't know the details of it, he didn't know if he would make it out of surgery or how bad his injuries were. Thinking about it made his stomach knot up. He had survived without Kurt for three years but now the thought of living his life knowing that Kurt Hummel may no longer be on the planet was not something he could even fathom. He didn't want to imagine it.

All he wanted was for this cab to get there fast. He sat back in his seat and looked out the window into the dark rainy night. He could feel the hot tears fill his eyes threatening to unleash onto his cheeks. Blaine tried to fight off the flashbacks but they inevitably found their way to the forefront of his mind. He had been strong for the past year, vowing to not think about Kurt or the awful breakup – it was the only way he was able to move on with his life – it was the only way he was able to accept himself and find love again. Because thinking about it hurt to this day - and although his heart was better, there was no denying that beneath the mended stitches a huge tear remained.

_I was wrong to run back to you. _Those words were ingrained in his soul. Blaine felt the fresh pain inside his rib-cage. The tears stained his cheeks. His eyes matched the blurry droplets of rain on the cab's window. But despite this dark memory Blaine could only think of one thing, _please be okay, Kurt. Please hang on, I'm coming. _

Blaine finally arrived at the hospital. He threw some money at the cab driver then ran into the hospital lobby. The minute he entered, he felt sick. He hated hospitals, who didn't? Despite the nausea, he forced his body to move towards the elevator, his finger jammed into the up arrow button. He couldn't get to Kurt fast enough. _Oh my God, what if he dies? What if I don't get to see him?_ The doors opened and he entered. There were half a dozen people in there already. He pressed the button for the sixth floor and noticed the two, three, four, and five buttons were also lighted up. It was the slowest elevator ride of his life. _I should've taken the stairs. Fuck. Kurt._

The elevator finally reached the sixth floor. By this time Blaine was almost hysterical. He ran out and to the nearest desk. There, a nurse looked up from her charts and noticed how riled up Blaine was. "Can I help you?"

"Hummel. Kurt Hummel. Where is he, please?"

"And you are?"

"Blaine Anderson. I'm… his emergency contact."

"Yes. He was just transferred in from surgery. I'll go see if he's set up for visitors. Please wait here."

"Thank you," Blaine nodded. He turned and saw a small sitting area but he could not sit. He began to pace. The longer he had to wait the more anxious he became. He could feel his body tremble. He could feel his heart thump his chest. His lips pressed together in an effort to stifle his cries but the tears betrayed him and fell down his cheeks. In that instant he stopped. A thought occurred to him, one that he did not wish to even entertain but one that was entirely possible and even probable. _What if Kurt doesn't want to see me? What if seeing me upsets him? What if he asks me to leave?_ Blaine knew that if Kurt refused his company he would simply break. There was no way he could handle Kurt's rejection again. _I should go. I should just give the nurse Burt's number and go. He'll never know I was here. I'm not required to be here. It's not my responsibility any more. _These thoughts just made everything worse. These thoughts were not who he was – the truth is there was no way he could abandon Kurt. No matter what Kurt had done to him or said to him, he would always be there for him.

"Mr. Anderson?"

He whipped around to see the nurse standing there.

"You may see him now."

Blaine was frozen where he stood. Everything inside him wanted to run to Kurt's bedside but his body wouldn't budge.

"Sir? He's in room 614. Go in when you're ready."

"Th-thank you," he managed to whisper.

Blaine forced himself to move. He walked slowly down the dimly lighted hallway. He could hear the beeping of machines through open doors as he walked passed. He didn't know if he could do this. He didn't know if he was strong enough. He reached room 614. The door was closed. _It's not too late to leave. _He placed his hand flat against the wooden surface and pushed. As he stepped in and closed the door behind him, he felt his knees buckle and his stomach heave. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall for some stability. _You can do this, Anderson. Kurt needs you. _

He opened his eyes and waited for them to focus. He looked toward the bed and for the first time in more than three years, he saw the man who he had always considered to be the love of his life. He took a deep breath and stepped forward to Kurt's bedside. Kurt was asleep. Blaine saw that his face was swollen and bruised. He had stitches across his bottom lip and down his chin, and bandages wrapped around his forehead and head, covering most of his hair. Blaine gazed down at him; despite all his injuries, Kurt still was so beautiful. Blaine stood there and watched him for a long time, while tears stained his cheeks.


	4. Chapter Three - Flashback - Aftermath

**Chapter Three: Flashback - Aftermath**

May 2015

Kurt had run out the front doors of the apartment building just in time. He leaned against the outside wall, bent over and vomited. He didn't have the stomach flu, he didn't have food poisoning – what he suffered from was deep heartache. Breaking up with Blaine had never been easy – not at all but this time if felt so much more … final, so much more heartbreaking. He gasped to try to catch his breath but all he could do was vomit again. His lunch splattered all over the sidewalk and even his shoes – but Kurt didn't care. He was too distraught to worry about soiled shoes – he wasn't even aware that the people walking by were starting at him. He took a few breaths and leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed. His cheeks were flushed and drenched with tears as his sobs tumbled uncontrollably from his mouth.

When he finally opened his eyes he realized he was still outside the building_. I need to get out of here_, he thought. He clutched his satchel tight and made his way to his car. He didn't know where he was planning to go. He really didn't have anywhere _to_ go but he knew he couldn't stay there.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting in his car – he didn't really care as he had nowhere he had to be. All he could think about was Blaine and the heart-wrenching look in his eyes when he had told him their fate. It was the hardest thing he ever had to do but it was necessary. He loved Blaine so much that he had to set him free. The truth was that Kurt had darkness in his heart; he had been fighting it almost all his life. He had become quite good at hiding and suppressing it. And Blaine had always helped him through it – Blaine's love was like a wall surrounding and protecting everything that was beautiful and good and keeping out everything that was dark and bad. Kurt felt that Blaine had always given so much – had always loved him so profoundly. How could he compete with that? Blaine deserved so much more than what he could give him. So, yes, he broke up with him. He set him free because he loved him so much. _I will never be able to love again – not you, not anyone_ – those words were now etched into his dark heart and he hoped with all his might that Blaine was wrong about that because he deserved so much love. He deserved everything good the universe had to offer even if he was not the one who could give it to him.

Kurt wiped his tears and pressed his keys into the ignition. He fastened his seatbelt and started his car. He began the aimless drive – he had no direction, no place in particular to go. He simply drove … and left everything he knew and everything he loved behind.


	5. Chapter Four - Just Until Burt Gets Here

**Chapter Four: Just Until Burt Gets Here**

October 2018

Blaine didn't want to waste any time. He had to call Burt – really, he should have called him already but had been too preoccupied with all the emotions. If Kurt woke up and rejected him he didn't want him to be alone. Although it would be excruciating, he would respect Kurt's wishes and leave – but he needed to know that Kurt would have support.

Blaine was a little confused as to why Kurt was in New York City anyway. Last he heard, Kurt had gone back home to Lima and there is where he stayed. Their mutual friend Mercedes had told him that Kurt would never set foot in New York again because it brought up too many painful memories for him. Everything he knew about Kurt post break-up, which wasn't much, he knew from Mercedes. He hadn't spoken to Kurt or any of his family members in more than three years.

Luckily though, Blaine still had Burt's number in his phone. Two years ago he had finally drummed up the courage to delete Kurt's number but he didn't have the heart to delete Burt's. The truth is he always wanted to have some sort of connection to Kurt – especially if it was through his father. Blaine knew that Burt had always held a soft spot for him and for his relationship with Kurt.

He watched Kurt for a bit longer. He hadn't said anything to him yet and certainly hadn't touched him. He didn't want to disturb his sleep and really didn't know if touching him would be good for either one of them. He knew the chemistry one touch could cause, especially when they held hands - and he wasn't ready for that – it would be far too painful.

He was finally able to tear himself away from Kurt's side and stepped out into the hallway. He dialed Burt's number. As the phone rang he went over in his mind just what exactly he would say to him. How do you tell your ex-fiance's father, who you haven't talked to in three years, that his son is in the hospital?

The phone kept ringing, there was no answer and no voicemail picked up. Blaine tried a second and third time with no success. He decided to track down the number to Hummel Tire and Lube to see if he could get a hold of him at work. He dialed…

"Hummel Tire and Lube," an unfamiliar voice answered.

"Hello. This is Blaine Anderson. May I please speak with Burt Hummel?"

"Sorry, he's on vacation, can I help you with something?"

"Oh. Well, it's really important that I contact him. Is there a forwarding number?"

"Like I said, the man is on a well-deserved vacation. He's in Australia so no, there's no forwarding number. Do you need to make an appointment?"

"No. Nothing like that," Blaine sighed. "It's about his son, Kurt."

"Is Kurt alright?"

"No. He's in the hospital here in New York. It's really important I get in touch with Burt."

"Oh. Wow. Okay. I…ah… I'll see if I can reach him. He and Carole are on an Australian cruise so it may take a while to track him down."

Blaine didn't like the sound of that. "That would be fine. When you contact him could you please have him call me?"

Blaine left his phone number and hung up. He closed his eyes, _what am I going to do_? _Even if they get a hold of Burt today there was no way he'd be able to make it to New York for at least another two days and that's the best case scenario_. He couldn't leave Kurt but he couldn't abandon Kevin either. He texted his boyfriend:

_Hi Kev._

A response came quickly:

_Hey Sweetheart. Is everything ok?_

_I don't know. Kurt looks terrible but I haven't seen the doctor yet._

_Is his family there?_

_No. I wasn't able to get a hold of his dad. He's currently in Australia._

_Sorry to hear. Want me to pick you up?_

Blaine sighed. He knew that Kevin would be upset but there was no way he could leave Kurt's bedside. He abandoned the text conversation and called. After just one ring, Kevin answered, "hey you. You ok?"

"Kev, I have to stay here until his dad arrives."

"But that could take days."

"I know. I'm sorry honey. I can't leave him."

"Blaine, this concerns me. You can't sleep there."

"I'll be fine. Listen, when Burt arrives, I promise I'll come straight home okay? This is just something I have to do. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just abandoned him."

"You mean, like he abandoned you?"

Blaine cringed a little. "Hey. That's not fair," Blaine felt his temperature rise slightly. "He's lying in a hospital bed, Kevin."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just that I'll miss you"

"And I'll miss you. I already do."

"Do you need for me to bring you anything?"

"No, I'll hit the giftshop if I have to. Thank you though. I love you babe."

"I love you too. Keep me posted."

"I will. Good night."

Blaine hung up the call and stared at his phone. _What am I doing here? I should be at home with my boyfriend. _The guilt slowly crept in. He knew that choosing Kurt over Kevin, although innocent, was going to come back and bite him in the end. He knew that Kevin was an understanding person but at the same time, he was protective. He had seen some of the anguish Blaine had gone through and Blaine knew that Kevin would do everything in his power to protect him from such pain again. He really did love him. _What am I doing here?_ His head was swimming_._

_I was wrong to run back to you_. Those eight words had hurt him more than anything Kurt had ever said or did; but despite that, Blaine was drawn to him. There was no way he could leave. He returned into the room and sat at his bedside again. Kurt hadn't moved. He was still in the same position. Blaine leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together and watched the rise and fall of Kurt's chest under the thin hospital blanket. He watched as various machines lit up and beeped. He watched the slow drip of the IV fluid. Despite everything he had been through in the past three years, despite everything he had found in Kevin, he vowed to remain by Kurt's side_. Just until Burt gets here_, he told himself. _And then I'm going home_.


	6. Chapter Five - Flashback - The Promise

**Chapter Five: Flashback – The Promise**

May 2016

Kurt sat on his bed – the same bed he had all through high school. He would soon be twenty-three years old and he thought by now he would have graduated from NYADA and be working his way up to a fabulous career but fate's path didn't lead him that way. Instead he was forced to drop out of NYADA – his mind and heart were simply not in it. After the break-up he fell into a deep depression. It was so bad that he had to move back to Lima and in with his father.

He had spent months holed up in his bedroom. All he was able to do was sleep and cry. He couldn't watch movies, he couldn't listen to music, he couldn't go out with his friends or even go anywhere in Lima because everything he did and everything he saw would remind him of Blaine. Even his very room housed painful memories. He and Blaine had spent many days and nights there studying, talking, rehearsing, watching movies, and making love – how blissful it had been with Blaine by his side.

Kurt knew that the only reason he was still alive was because Burt kept a close eye on him – and because at the end of the day he knew that he had done right by Blaine. Even if Blaine didn't see it that way, he knew that eventually he would be better off without him – that gave Kurt solace – that Blaine would be okay and even happy again.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door.

"Come in, Dad."

"Hey. What are you up to?"

"The same thing I've been doing for the past year," he said morosely.

Burt looked at him with sadness in his eyes. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Kurt remained silent and hugged his knees to his chest as Burt continued, "it's been one year, son."

"You don't think I know that? It's been one year, three days, and seven hours."

Burt nodded. "It's time you saw someone."

"I have zero desire in dating."

"No. I don't mean dating. I mean…" Burt paused. He had watched his son for the past year wallow in grief. He had never seen him so utterly depressed – not even when his mother had passed away. And Burt let him grieve the break-up. He knew what Blaine had meant to Kurt – what Blaine _still_ means to Kurt. He saw how Blaine had given Kurt courage, happiness, and love. He didn't want to push his son or invade in his mourning – after all, he was a grown man but Burt had seen enough. It was time to nudge Kurt, not too gently, into the direction of healing. "What I mean is, I want you to seek professional help."

Kurt blinked at this. He looked upward towards his Dad. "I don't need help."

"You do. And I won't take no for an answer. I've booked an appointment for you for next week with a counselor."

"Dad…"

"Kurt," Burt raised his voice just enough to make Kurt stop and listen. "You are my son and I will not sit idly by while you deteriorate into nothing. You haven't left this house in months. You leave your room to use the bathroom and eat – that is _if_ you eat. You cry yourself to sleep every night and you cry when you wake up. You're going. I'll go with you if you want but you're going."

Kurt pressed his forehead to his knees. "I'm so scared, Dad."

Burt sat on the edge of the bed. "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared that they will tell me there's no hope for me."

Burt's heart felt like it would explode from sheer sadness. How did his son come to feel this low? The Kurt he raised and the Kurt he knew was, yes, sometimes troubled, but he was strong and optimistic and driven. What had happened to him? Why did he think so low of himself? Why didn't he let Blaine love him? "Son, there is always hope. You have to believe that. I believe it. I will never give up on you and you shouldn't give up on yourself either."

Kurt nodded as he looked at his father with watery eyes, "I miss him, Dad."

"I know you do. And there may be a time when you'll be able to be friends with him again – or more. But right now I want you to concentrate on Kurt Hummel. You need to get better. You need to learn how to love yourself first."

Kurt scooted closer to his Dad. He had never felt so much like a child – not even when he was a child. He buried his face into his dad's shoulder and sobbed. His body heaved and trembled under Burt's strong soothing hand. "It will get better. I promise," Burt whispered. And as he closed his eyes and let his own tears fall as he said a silent prayer – hoping that the promise would not be broken.


	7. Chapter Six - A Lifeline

**Chapter Six: A Lifeline**

October 2018

Blaine was startled awake to the sound of rolling wheels. He sat up in the chair he had been sleeping in and immediately felt the pain shoot down his back. With a groan and a stretch he opened his eyes and noticed the nurse wheeling in a cart with various contraptions and viles. "Good Morning," she said cheerfully.

Morning? Blaine looked at his brand new Rolex. It read 6:08. He had slept all night in the chair beside Kurt's bed. If Kurt had woken up in the night he hadn't noticed. "Good Morning," he mumbled to the nurse then looked around toward Kurt. He was still in the same position. He found it odd that Kurt hadn't woken up or at least moved. "Is he okay," he asked the nurse. "I mean, he's been out for a long time."

The nurse was preparing a needle with some sort of clear liquid. She paused and looked at Blaine with compassionate eyes, "has Doctor Ryan spoken with you?"

"No."

She nodded. "As soon as I'm finished here I will ask him to see you. He'll be able to answer your questions better."

Blaine nodded and sat in silence. He watched as the nurse injected the liquid into Kurt's IV. "What is that?"

"Heparin. It's a blood thinner. It's normal for someone who has been lying in bed without moving for a while." She next prepared another needle and expertly poked Kurt and drew three viles of blood. She labelled them, set them on the cart and smiled at Blaine again, "The Doctor should be in to see you soon. In the meantime, you should get yourself some coffee. For a hospital cafeteria, the coffee is pretty good here. You look like you could use some caffeine."

"Thanks," Blaine mumbled. He wasn't sure what to make of everything that was happening. The nurse was right, he did need coffee. It would surely help but he didn't want to miss the doctor. He had a lot of questions – for Burt's sake of course. He knew when Burt called he would want to know everything.

A few minutes later, Blaine returned from freshening up in the bathroom. When he entered the room he saw the doctor hovering over Kurt. He turned and smiled. "Good Morning. I'm Doctor Ryan. I've been overseeing Mr. Hummel since he arrived." He extended his hand towards Blaine.

Blaine shook it. "Hello Doctor, I'm Blaine Anderson."

"And how are you related to Mr. Hummel?"

Blaine's eyes shifted. "Well, it is a bit complicated. I… I was once engaged to him," his brow furrowed. "Now I guess I'm sort of a friend."

Doctor Ryan nodded with a bit of confusion but Blaine added, "his father is in Australia. We're trying to contact him so that he can come."

"I see. Well, I notice from the chart that you are Mr. Hummel's emergency contact so I have answers if you have questions."

"Yes. Well, I don't know anything. Could you please start from the beginning?"

"Mr. Hummel was hit by a car, Mr. Anderson. He is quite lucky to be alive." Blaine's stomach churned at the thought. "He has three fractured ribs, a fractured arm, and a cracked skull."

"A cracked skull? Oh my God."

"Yes. It's quite serious. Last night we took him into surgery to try to minimize the damage the skull would have on his brain. We did the best we could but we won't know anything until … or even if … he wakes up."

If? If? "What do you mean, if?" Blaine asked with panic in his voice.

"Mr. Anderson, your friend is in a comatose state. There is no way of knowing if or when he will regain consciousness. I'm so sorry."

Blaine had to sit down. His legs simply were too weak to hold him. His heart thumped in his chest and his lungs felt like they would collapse at any moment. Kurt's in a coma. Dear God, no.

"Mr. Anderson," Blaine felt Doctor Ryan's hand on his shoulder. "We are all hopeful that he will regain consciousness but one can never know for sure."

Blaine looked at Doctor Ryan then at Kurt, who of course hadn't yet moved. He could feel the tears swelling in his eyes. "I can't lose him," he whispered.

Doctor Ryan spoke gently, "do you see those circular patches on his head?"

Blaine nodded.

"They monitor brain activity. This morning I noticed that there was slight movement on the graph. It means that his brain is in some way active – I can't tell you in which way but there is activity. That is very positive."

"Does that mean he's dreaming? Can he hear us?"

"I don't know for sure. And although it has not been scientifically proven, we believe that stimulation would help his cause. That means you should talk to him, Mr. Anderson. And if you're so inclined, holding his hand would certainly not hurt."

Blaine wiped his eyes. "Okay. Thank you," his voice trailed off.

"I'll be around and the nurses are here to answer any questions too. Don't hesitate to ask. We want for you to be comfortable so that you can help Mr. Hummel. Support from his friends and family is very important at this stage." Doctor Ryan stood and took one last look at Kurt before exiting the room, leaving Blaine there with nothing but his thoughts.

Blaine replayed the conversation in his mind as he gazed at Kurt through blurry eyes. He was in a coma. His Kurt was in a coma fighting for his life. There was brain activity which was a good sign. Talking to him would help … but the words that were etched in Blaine's heart chanted at him with every beat. If you're so inclined, holding his hand would certainly not hurt. "If I'm so inclined," he said aloud. If I'm so inclined… The truth is Blaine had been inclined to hold Kurt's hand since the first moment they met. Their hands were made to hold each other. Their relationship started and was defined on how well their hands fit together. If you're so inclined, holding his hand would certainly not hurt… his heart chanted. This made Blaine angry. Why had he not yet held Kurt's hand? Why did he reject something that had once been the most natural and most beautiful gesture in the world? Why had their hands been apart for the last three years?

Blaine looked at Kurt again. His face looked sad yet peaceful. He wondered what he was thinking about - if anything. What kind of brain activity was he having? Could he hear him? Was he remembering? Was he dreaming? Blaine stood and moved closer. His hazel orbs glowed from the wetness that encompassed them – Kurt was blurry to him … and busted up … but Blaine thought he was still so beautiful. Before he even knew it, Blaine whispered, "Kurt…" He sobbed softly at the sound of his own voice saying the name of the man (he still) loved so much. He gently took his hand. It was surprisingly warm and the weight of it felt so good. Blaine pressed his palm against Kurt's and wrapped his fingers around the side of his hand. It was something that he had done a thousand times in his life – something that had become so natural – and now it was like it was the only lifeline between them. He squeezed and spoke a little louder this time, "Kurt. It's me… Blaine. I'm here. I've been here since the moment they called me." Tears slid down his cheeks and onto his sweater. "It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay. I need for you to keep fighting. You need to wake up Kurt. Your dad will be here soon and you need to be awake for him." Blaine tried his hardest to stifle his sobs. He didn't want for Kurt to hear him cry. He slid his other hand on top of Kurt's so that it was sandwiched. He squeezed again and rubbed the top of his smooth skin. He would have stood there holding his hand for an eternity if it hadn't been for his phone vibrating in his pocket.

He reluctantly released Kurt's hand to answer the phone. He barely even said hello before Burt was almost screaming in his ear, "Blaine! It's Burt. What the hell happened to my son?"

Blaine explained everything. He knew there was no way he would be able to dance around the subject or stall until Burt arrived so he just came out with it. He told him everything Doctor Ryan had said and he even explained how he had come to be the person the hospital called.

"I'm glad Kurt never changed that card. You were able to be there for him. Thank you, Blaine. Our family has always loved you and we've always known that we could count on you for anything."

Blaine's chest contracted. His heart was in sheer pain. "Of course, Burt. I'm not leaving his side until you arrive. I promise."

"Thanks son. Carole and I are on our way to the airport now. We'll take the first flight out and be there as soon as we can."

"Sounds good. I'll be here."

"Blaine…"

"Yes."

"I don't know if Kurt can hear or understand but please," Burt choked back tears which made Blaine's chest ache even more, "can you tell him that I love him?"

"Yes, of course I can."

With that, Burt hung up. Blaine pocketed his phone and leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed. Burt's words hit home. Our family has always loved you… And he had and would always love them. It was very clear to him now that the Hummels would forever be part of his life whether Kurt liked it or not.


	8. Chapter Seven - Flashback - Therapy

**Chapter Seven: Flashback - Therapy**

May 2017

Kurt sat in the familiar green leather chair. He had sat there twice a week for the past year pouring his heart out, quite literally, to someone who started out as a stranger but quickly became his saviour. His therapist, Cynthia, was in her mid-forties. She was a slender woman who always wore her ashy blonde hair up in a bun. The thing Kurt noticed first about her was how calming her eyes were. He immediately had felt at ease in her presence which allowed Cynthia to put all her tools to use quickly. Luckily for Kurt, those tools had been working beautifully.

"How are you today, Kurt?" Cynthia sat relaxed in her chair opposite him.

Kurt smiled at her. "Today I'm feeling pretty good although yesterday was a hard day for me."

She leaned forward, slightly. "Let's put yesterday aside for the time being. I want to know more about what's making you feel 'pretty good' today."

"That's the wonderful thing, Cynthia. I don't really have any reason except that I just _feel _happy today."

Cynthia's smile brightened. "Do you realize, Kurt, that it's been three months today that you've been off the meds?"

Kurt knew. He knew better than anyone. He remembered back when he saw Cynthia for the first time. She had prescribed an anti-depressant to him almost immediately. It had been a shock to him. He knew he had been sad and, okay, even depressed but to actually be diagnosed with depression and have to take medication seemed crazy to him. The first six weeks had been horrible. There had been many times when he wanted to stop taking the medication. They were supposed to make him feel better, not worse. He woke up nightly with sweaty panic attacks and during the day it felt like his body was made of really thick and heavy jello. It was an effort to move, to talk, to breathe. Cynthia kept reassuring him that once his body got used to the medication he would start to feel better – and thankfully she was right.

Kurt nodded and gave her a smile, "I know. It's been so great knowing I can have happy days without taking the meds."

"And you know that when you have sad days they won't last forever, right?"

"Right. Like yesterday."

"What happened yesterday? Did anything trigger it?"

Kurt got quiet. He slid his hands to his arms, almost hugging himself. Cynthia gave him a reassuring nod, "when you're ready."

"Carole was clearing out some old boxes from the basement. She found a shoebox with pictures of my brother, Finn. She asked me if I wanted to sort through them with her and I of course said that I would. I figured it would be good for healing…"

Cynthia nodded. She was proud of Kurt. Early on in their sessions she had brought Kurt to the realisation that part of his depression stemmed from losing his brother. He had never really dealt with it as he was determined to be the strong one for Carole and for his friend Rachel, who had been Finn's fiancé at the time.

"…And I was doing fine. Actually, seeing pictures of Finn made me smile as it brought back a lot of good memories. I was busy sorting when I came across one picture in particular. It was of Finn in the choir room at our high school and beside him was Blaine." He stopped and looked down.

Cynthia leaned forward and put her hand on Kurt's knee. "Go on."

He looked up at her with moist eyes. His voice was broken, "I hadn't seen his image in about a year. When I started therapy I took all his pictures down from my room and deleted them from my phone. And now, there he was. His hazel eyes staring back at me as he stood beside my brother." A tear fell down his cheek.

"And how did that really make you feel?"

"It made me sad."

"How did it make you feel about _yourself_, Kurt?"

He sniffled, "you know, two years ago I would have clammed up and pushed all the feelings away and continued to be miserable. But yesterday I forced myself to deal with the emotions. I didn't put the picture away – I made myself look at it, at him, for a long time. I felt sad because I wasn't there for Blaine. I wasn't there to help him through life, to be his best friend. I realized that he had needed me just as much as I had needed him and even though it was because of my illness, I had literally abandoned him." He sobbed. It was not the first time he cried on that green leather chair and it would not be the last.

Cynthia leaned forward again and took his hand. "Do you see?"

Shakily, "see what?"

"The progress you've made?"

"I don't know if I would call it progress. I mean, seeing that picture, it brought back a lot of memories and…" He paused and closed his eyes. "And, I still feel attached to him. I still…" He ran his hand through his hair and looked at his therapist with a sigh.

She, of course, was patient. She knew how to keep Kurt talking. She simply nodded and waited.

"I still love him." He admitted with a whisper.

"Of course you do. And that is perfectly normal. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving him, Kurt but I want you to try to get to that place. The place we've talked about - the place where _you_ are happy with _yourself_ and where _you_ love _yourself_. Once you get there you will realize that you are able to love him purely, honestly and truthfully. Or you will decide that you no longer need to love him."

Kurt was shocked by this. He would always love Blaine. As much as he tried to suppress the love, he knew that at the end of the day, no matter what state his heart was in, Blaine was his soul mate.

He said softly, "I will always need and want to love him, even if I'm not able to carry out the love."

Cynthia gave a knowing smile. "I'm very proud of how far you've come. You have made remarkable strides, Kurt. I also want to tell you that we've still got a long ways to go - but we'll get you there." She squeezed his hand.

"I know. I want to get to a place where I have a lot more good days than bad – a place where I don't crumble if I see a picture of him."

Kurt didn't know if he would ever truly get there. He couldn't imagine a world where seeing a picture of Blaine would make him feel nothing. But he did know that he no longer cried himself to sleep, he ate three meals a day, and he went out with friends from time to time. This was far better than the alternative. He didn't know how long it would last, he didn't know if he would ever need medication again or if he would actually get better but he was going to try his hardest to rise above because for the first time in a long time he could see a glimpse of his future.


	9. Chapter Eight - Burt

**Chapter Eight: Burt**

October 2018

It had been two days since Blaine spoke with Burt. He was getting a little antsy waiting for him but he understood travel schedules and how far Australia was. There was part of him who enjoyed spending his days at Kurt's bedside talking to him and holding his hands – in a weird and morbid way it reminded Blaine of how things used to be. How they would be there for each other through thick and thin. How they loved to just talk and hold hands.

"Do you remember the very first time I made you breakfast?" Blaine sat beside Kurt with clutched hands. He spoke softly to him, his eyes sparkling. "It was the morning after our … first time. I woke up before you and thought I would be smart and sneak into the kitchen to make blueberry pancakes for you." He laughed softly and shook his head. "You woke up to cursing and the sounds of pans clanging together. I had made the biggest mess in the kitchen because of course I had no idea what I was doing. You found me with pancake mix in my hair and batter spilled everywhere and smashed blueberries on the counter. We had never laughed so hard." He smiled remembering. He glanced up at Kurt's unchanged face and got quiet. After a while he stood up to lean closer. Without thinking, he placed his free hand against Kurt's still swollen face. His touch was almost a hover, his fingertips barely brushing Kurt's skin. His face was warm and just a little bit stubbly from not shaving in few days. "Kurt," he whispered, "If you can hear me try to squeeze my hand."

Blaine waited a few minutes but Kurt's hand remained limp in Blaine's. No movement and no sound came from Kurt. That is when Blaine completely lost it. He gently released Kurt's hand, ran out of the room and squatted down onto the floor with his face in his hands as he sobbed. _Please, please, please, I can't lose him_.

It took quite a while for Blaine to calm down. A nurse had to literally pick him up of the floor and sit him down in the waiting area. "I'm going to get you some water, okay?"

Blaine didn't say anything.

"It will be okay," she said before darting off to fetch the drink.

Blaine took a deep breath. _I can't do this_, he thought to himself. _I can't do this by myself_. He reached for his phone and texted Kevin:

_Hey_

As always, Kevin's response came quickly:

_I was just thinking about you. Everything ok? _

_I'm sorry. _

_For what, sweetheart? _

_For being gone for so long._

_It's okay. I understand. Besides, you're coming home when his father gets there right? _

_Yes. I miss you. And I need to come home. _

Blaine didn't necessarily want to go home. Part of him wanted to stay with Kurt but it was just too emotional – he couldn't bear the thought of Kurt not waking up. At the same time he couldn't bear the thought of Kurt waking up and rejecting him again. And he really did miss his boyfriend. His head was a mess.

Kevin's texts continued:

_I need you to come home too Sweetheart. I really, really miss you. _

_I'll be home soon. I promise. _

_Okay. Love you. _

_Love you too._

Blaine leaned back and rested his head on the back of the chair. He closed his eyes seemingly for a moment but he was exhausted. His body relaxed as he dozed off to sleep, leaving the nurse to place the cup of water on the table beside him.

He woke up to gentle shaking and a familiar and pleasant voice. "Honey, wake up."

He opened one eye and saw a blurry woman. He sat up and ran his hand over his face to wipe the sleep from it. When he opened both his eyes he saw that Carole was beside him. "Carole, oh my god," he sprung into her arms and she gave him the tightest hug humanly possible.

"How are you holding up, honey?"

"It's been really hard but I'm okay. I'm more concerned about Kurt."

"Yeah, Burt is in with him now. I thought I would give them some privacy and come find you."

"I'm sorry I dozed off out here. I should've been in there with him. And I was… I just … needed some air."

"I understand and you've done so much for this family. Burt and I really appreciate you being here and I'm sure Kurt does too."

Blaine looked down into his lap with a sigh.

"What the matter, honey?"

"We may never know if he appreciates it, Carole," he said with tears in his eyes. "I just want him to wake up. This is really breaking my heart."

"I know," she took his hand. "We all need him to wake up. For now all we can do is wait and be positive and supportive."

He nodded. "How's Burt?"

She gave him a sad smile, "he's as good as he possibly can be. He's much better now that he's actually with him. The past two days in transit have been really hard."

"I bet."

"Thank you for calling us, Blaine."

He nodded and gave her another hug. Without releasing him, she said gently, "how have you been. We haven't known anything about you for years."

"I've actually been doing well. I'm writing for Broadway and it's been pretty lucrative," he smiled.

She smiled back. "I'm so glad, honey. I knew you'd end up on Broadway in some capacity."

"Yeah. It was a really rough three years," he looked up at her. "_Really_ rough but I was able to turn it around and I umm… actually started seeing someone."

"I'm glad honey. You deserve it, you really do."

He smiled. "Thank you, Carole. That means the world coming from you."

"Hey kid," called a voice from down the hall.

Blaine and Carole both turned around to see that it was Burt. Blaine stood up and moved towards him. He could see his eyes were swollen and puffy. Blaine extended his hand and Burt grabbed it and pulled him into a hug. Burt slapped Blaine's shoulder blades lightly and said, "thank you for everything you've done for my son."

Blaine's tears slid down his cheeks and onto Burt's plaid shirt. "Of course."

"No, I mean it. I know very well that you didn't have to respond to that call. I know that you didn't have to come and you didn't have to stay but you did. I don't know what else is going on in your life, Blaine but you dropped everything for my son and I will always be grateful for that."

"Burt, thank you. That means so much to me. I umm… I tried to get Kurt to wake up. I talked to him and," he blinked back tears, "held his hand but I couldn't. I'm so sorry for what's happening."

"It's not your fault. None of this is your fault, Blaine."

He nodded, his eyes downcast onto his shoes. His head whipped up though when he heard the next words come from Burt's mouth.

"And Blaine, I need for you to know that Kurt still loves you."

Carole stepped forward, "Burt…"

Burt put his hand up, "no Carole, I need to say this." He looked to face Blaine again. "He's had a miserable three years. Let me tell you, it has been torture for him – major depression, therapy, medication, and a lot more stuff that I can tell you about another time - but I know for a fact that he loves you just as much as he ever did."

Blaine had to sit down. He needed to process what Burt just told him. Kurt still loved him. And it had become quite obvious to Blaine that he still loved Kurt. He would always love Kurt. For the millionth time that day, Blaine's tears spilled onto his cheeks. His heart ached in his chest. He felt claustrophobic. "Burt, Carole," he said gently, "I have been here for four days straight. I need to go. I need to clear my head and get some air and to be honest, I just need to go home."

Carole placed her hand on his arm. She understood. "Take all the time you need, honey. We will stay in touch if anything changes… that is, if you want us to."

He nodded, "yes please do. I'm so sorry but I just need to go."

Burt hugged him again. "We understand kid. Thank you again for everything."

After a long day at the clinic, Kevin had just gotten out of the shower. He was about to go downstairs to throw together a sandwich for dinner when he heard Blaine climbing up the stairs. He ran out to meet him but when he saw how utterly dishevelled he looked, it made him stop in his tracks. "Sweetheart? Are you ok?"

Blaine looked up at him with tired eyes. "Hi. I'm okay. I'm just really tired. But I am very happy to see you."

Kevin smiled and took his hand leading him up to the landing so he could give him a proper hug. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held on for dear life. Blaine reciprocated in the hug – his arms drew around Kevin's torso as his face nuzzled to the side of his neck. Kevin placed a soft kiss to Blaine's messy curls "I'm so happy you're home. I missed you so much it hurt."

With that, Blaine began to sob again. His chest heaved against Kevin's as he just couldn't hold it in anymore. Kevin felt hot tears coat his neck. "Shh," his arms squeezed Blaine tighter. "What's the matter? Is it just that you're worried about Kurt?"

"He hasn't woken up yet."

"Hey," Kevin placed his hands on Blaine's arms and pulled him away from the hug so that he could look into his eyes. "It's a terrible situation but it's not your fault and there is nothing further you can do. It's up to the doctors and fate now."

Blaine felt a tinge of anger course through him but he pushed the emotion away. "It's just that I can't bear to see him like that, Kevin."

"I know. It's over now though. You're back home where you belong, with me."

Blaine moved passed Kevin into the bedroom and took off his jacket. "It's not over. He's still in that hospital bed clinging to his life."

Kevin became concerned; he followed Blaine into their room. "But he has his parents there with him, doesn't he?"

Blaine whirled around, "what does that mean?"

Kevin simply looked at him in confusion.

Blaine sighed and hung his head. "I'm sorry. I'm … just … this whole situation is completely fucked up. And I'm tired and I need a shower and I'm taking it all out on you." He stepped forward and placed his hand on Kevin's face. His hazels met Kevin's brown eyes. Blaine noticed that his regard was cloudy and lost. "I'm sorry. I really am happy to be home." He kissed his mouth tenderly. Kevin remained silent while Blaine gazed at him. "Kevin?"

"Do you still love him?"

Blaine withdrew his hand and sighed. His eyes closed and his lips pressed together. Kevin didn't even need him to answer with words. He knew it. He knew it from the second Blaine had walked out the door four days ago.

"Do you still love me?" Kevin added.

Blaine looked into his eyes once again. "Of course I do." He pulled Kevin close, his mouth crashed into his boyfriend's lips. They shared a passionate and emotional kiss. It had been far too long since they kissed, their hands caressed each other's faces and chest … and arms. The truth was they were hungry for each other - whether their love was as strong as it had been four days ago was irrelevant in this moment. Right now all they wanted was each other's passion. Clothes came off quickly, moans tumbled from their mouths, wet smacking sounds of sex filled their bedroom, some fresh dents appeared in the drywall from the force of the banging headboard, deep guttural grunts left their throats … and they didn't stop until they were both slippery with sweat, sticky with cum, and panting from lack of oxygen.

Blaine felt guilty. He was glad he was in the shower – he desperately needed one but more because he was crying again and he didn't want Kevin to see him. He tilted his face up to the warm soothing stream of water. The tears lost in the water droplets. His heart was torn in two. On one hand he was still in love with Kurt and really, he couldn't kid himself anymore, he had never stopped being in love with Kurt - Kurt who was in the hospital fighting for his very life. And tonight he found out from Burt that Kurt still loved him. Could it be possible? Was Burt misinterpreting? Kurt had always been good at concealing his feelings when he wanted to. On the other hand, he was in a serious relationship with a man who was absolutely wonderful to him in every way. He felt loved when he was with Kevin and he no doubt, loved him back. Blaine was confused and torn.

"Sweetheart," Kevin called and opened the shower curtain slightly. He saw Blaine's face. He didn't need to actually see the tears to know that he had been crying. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing." He shut off the shower and stepped out wrapping a towel around his waist.

"It's not nothing. Please stop doing this," Kevin crossed his arms. "I can't handle it."

Blaine raised an eyebrow. The same tinge of anger made its way back into his heart. "YOU can't handle it?" he yelled. "Kurt – the love of my life – is clinging to his life in a hospital bed and YOU can't handle it?" As soon as he said it he knew it was a mistake. When he saw the look on Kevin's face he knew it was a mistake there was no coming back from. "Kevin, I'm…"

"I'm leaving."

"What? No. I'm sorry, can we please just talk about it?"

"Blaine, I am not going to stand here and listen to whatever excuses you come up with to tell me that you love me and you want to be with me when I know damn well you are still in love with Kurt. I wish him well, I really do. I hope he makes a full recovery but the fact that he's stealing my boyfriend while in a coma is something I'm not going to get over any time soon."

"He's not…"

"I'll be at my sisters but please leave me alone. Don't contact me until you've figured this mess out."

Just like that Kevin was gone. Blaine heard the door slam downstairs. He was still standing in the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist.

Three years he fought the internal turmoil of trying to forget Kurt. And just when he thought he could move on with his life – with an amazing man – fate happened and showed him a different path.


	10. Chapter Nine -Flashback - Kurt's Mission

**Chapter Nine: Flashback – Kurt's Mission **

October 2018

Kurt had a spring in his step. He was picking up some clothes from the drycleaners. It was his last stop before he had to return home. His Dad and Carole had just left for their Australian cruise so he would have the house to himself. It would be perfect for music blasting and packing for New York.

He felt happy, which these days, was not surprising. He had worked hard at turning his illness around. He was in a much better place than he had been three years ago and even one year ago. With Cynthia's help, he had found himself again – the old Kurt but a better version. He never had to go back on his medication, he had learned to cope with life's problems in natural ways. Cynthia had given him all the tools. As grateful as he was to Cynthia he was very happy when she told him that he should only see her once a month instead of the two times a week he had been sitting in that green chair. He was acting again. Sure, it was only with the Lima Community Theatre but it was something. He was no longer sitting on his bed crying. He had also thought about re-applying to NYADA but also to other schools. He wanted to study theatre, of course but also thought about the fashion industry.

He had arrived home and made his way upstairs. He lugged out his suitcase and began to decipher which clothes would be most suitable for his mission – and that's exactly what it was. A mission. Before any school applications happened, before any major decisions were made in his life, he had to find Blaine. He had thought about it for three years. He at the very least owed Blaine an explanation but truly, he wanted him back. He was ready to love, ready to commit, ready for anything Blaine wanted. There was no way he could move on without first checking in with his one true love. He had to try again.

He knew from Mercedes that Blaine was still in New York City. Kurt was not surprised to learn that Blaine was a successful writer on Broadway. He had done his research and knew which theatre he was currently working out of so Kurt had planned to go there to find him. He knew though that New York was a big place and that he may not actually find Blaine so as a back-up he wrote a letter that he would leave at the theatre if all else failed. Of course he could just get Blaine's number from Mercedes but this was something he had to try to do in person. He owed Blaine that much. He owed himself that much.

The weather was miserable in New York but Kurt wasn't going to let that dampen his mood. He looked out the window of his tenth floor hotel room. He watched the crowds zig zag their way along the sidewalks. He saw the yellow tops of cabs weave expertly down the streets. A parade of umbrellas bobbed all along as people hurried to get out of the rain. He had missed New York. There was a time when he would have hated to come back as there were far too many memories attached to it but now it was all different – he was hopeful - hopeful that he could find Blaine and that Blaine would be willing to talk to him. He was hoping that he still had a chance with Blaine but above all he hoped that Blaine was well. He needed for Blaine to be happy because seeing him unhappy would be excruciating.

He was almost ready. He looked at himself in the mirror. He had worn a two-toned grey suit, Alexander McQueen, of course. His button-up shirt was periwinkle coupled with a black tie. His eyes roamed up to check his hair – it was coiffed upward into a swooping shape – there was not even one hair out of place. Kurt fixed his tie, took a deep breath and whispered to his reflection. "You can do this, Kurt Hummel." He put on his black overcoat, slipped the cream coloured envelope with the single word _Blaine_ written across the front into the inside pocket of his jacket, and walked toward the door.

The rain was coming down in buckets. Kurt clutched the hotel umbrella hard so that it wouldn't blow away in the wind. _There goes my hair_, he thought as he pressed the button at the crosswalk. Despite the weather, Kurt was happy. It would only be a short three blocks to the theatre where Blaine was scheduled to be. Within the hour or maybe less he would know his fate – and he had a good feeling about it. He knew Blaine's heart. He knew Blaine's soul – if it was at all possible, Blaine would forgive him and they could finally put this mess behind them.

Suddenly, Kurt heard a loud and alarming screeching sound but he only heard it for a split second as he looked up from the lines of the crosswalk he was trekking across. The car skidded to a stop but not in time. Kurt's body flew in the air as if it were a rag doll and landed with a loud thud onto the sidewalk. The umbrella sat upside-down on the other side of the street collecting raindrops like tears; familiar sirens were heard among the streets of New York – this time they were for Kurt.


	11. Chapter Ten - The Letter

**Chapter Ten: The Letter **

October 2018

Blaine held out for as long as he could. Kevin had left two days ago. Blaine knew that he should have been distraught about that but instead for the past two days all he could think about was Kurt. He thought about him lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life, he thought about Burt's words: _Kurt still loves you, _he thought about all the times they'd held hands, said _I love you_, made love, laughed and sang together. Blaine's mind was in a Kurt frenzy.

He looked at the clock – his Rolex had been sitting on the dresser for the past two days. 11:47 p.m. A year ago, a month ago, a week ago, a day ago, Blaine would have waited until the morning to go to the hospital but his heart was telling him to go now. _Right now, Blaine_. He knew that if he went back to Kurt's bedside he would never leave. He would never leave Kurt's side again. It didn't take him long to find his coat and shoes and slip out the door.

It was half past midnight by the time Blaine stepped out of the cab. He threw money at the driver and ran into the hospital. His feet couldn't get him there fast enough – he sprinted to the elevator. His mind and his heart was made up, _Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt._ He finally reached his door and pushed it open quietly. He was aware it was late and that Burt and Carole could be sleeping in there. He peeked his head in and saw Burt sitting in the chair by the low light of one lamp. Kurt was in the same position as he was when Blaine had left him. He stepped in and Burt turned to look at him.

"Blaine."

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting. I just had to see him right now. Any change?"

"Nothing."

Blaine stepped farther into the room and stopped at the foot of Kurt's bed. He couldn't see much detail in the low light but he did notice that Kurt's bruising and swelling had improved. He could see his delicate features once again. _Kurt is beautiful_. He didn't know how long he had actually been staring at him when he felt Burt pull him into a strong hug. Blaine pressed his face to Burt's shoulder, "I love him so much," he whispered.

"I know you do. I knew it wouldn't take long for you to come back."

"Is it okay that I did? I mean, I don't want to interfere."

"Don't be dumb, kid. You belong here just as much as I do."

Blaine thought his heart would explode. "Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me."

Burt sat Blaine down in the spare chair then sat beside him. "But I need to talk to you. I know that you want to be here and you do deserve to be here but listen to me, Blaine."

Blaine nodded, his gaze intense on Burt.

"Carole told me that you've been having quite a successful career with writing. I don't want you to give that up. You being here twenty-four, seven is not healthy for your career."

Blaine interjected, "Burt…"

"I'm serious, Blaine. I do not want you to throw your career away and neither would Kurt. I know you want to be here but you need to be smart about this. Forward steps, Blaine, not backwards."

"Burt…You know that I love you and Carol and I have the utmost respect for you…"

"But..." Burt eyed him.

"But…you have to know…first, I am in between gigs. There is nothing I am currently working on that needs my attention… but even if there was… there is…" he looked up into Burt's eyes so that his point would be made, "_nothing_ that is more important to me than being by Kurt's side. I let him go once, twice, and even three times but I know now in my heart and soul that I will not let him go a fourth. I am here for the long haul. If I have to sit in this chair and watch over him for twenty years then so be it but I am not leaving him."

Burt looked at him silently. He knew how much Blaine loved his son. He had known for a long time but there was something about Blaine's eyes, something in his voice that infiltrated Burt's heart and caused him to choke up. He tried his damnedest to stifle back sobs but they came rushing out in a flurry. He stood up and croaked at Blaine. "I don't want my son to hear me cry. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Blaine watched him go, knowing that he had made his point. He turned back toward Kurt and inched his chair closer. He watched him for a bit before taking his hand. His tone of voice was sweet and whispery, "everything I said is true you know. I'm not leaving your side ever again. You are stuck with me Kurt Hummel because I am not letting you push me away a fourth time," he blinked back tears. "We are soul mates and you know it."

The next morning Blaine made his way back up to Kurt's room from the cafeteria carrying three coffees and cinnamon buns. Despite the situation he actually felt good for the first time in a while. He had hope in his heart and he was optimistic that Kurt would make it through as he had the three people who loved him most by his side 'round the clock supporting him. He pushed the door open with his shoulder and found Burt standing by the small closet in Kurt's room. He turned to look at Blaine with a curious expression on his face. "I found this in his jacket pocket."

Blaine set the coffees on the roll away table and took the cream-coloured envelope from Burt. The handwriting on the front was unmistakeably Kurt's. It was addressed with one single word: Blaine.

"It's addressed to you so I think you should open it," Burt said.

Blaine's heart was racing. What had Kurt been doing with an envelope addressed to him? "I…I don't want to pry."

Burt looked at him seriously. "Your name is on the front. It won't be prying. I mean, I don't know what it's about but clearly he meant for you to have it. Now we know what he was doing in New York."

Blaine nodded softly as he held the envelope. His eyes fixed on his name scrawled in bright blue ink. "You think he was here to see me?"

Burt gave him a knowing smile, "I'm going to take our coffees and go sit with Carole in the family room. We'll be right outside if you need us." Burt knew somehow that this would be a moment for Blaine … and for Kurt. He wanted to give them some privacy so he made himself scarce.

Before Blaine could even answer, Burt was gone. He was left alone with Kurt and the envelope. He took a seat as close to Kurt's bed as possible. He held the envelope in one hand and Kurt's hand in the other. His thumb subconsciously rubbed along Kurt's knuckles – it was a familiar sensation, one that calmed his racing heart.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to open it – he was scared it would say something he didn't want to read. His heart wouldn't be able to bear it but he knew that curiosity would inevitably get the best of him so without giving it another thought, he opened it and unfolded the letter.

Again, the handwriting was unmistakable. Kurt had _written_ him a letter, not typed it – he had taken the time to write it by hand. Blaine thought that was romantic. He desperately hoped the words wouldn't change his opinion. He took a deep breath and began reading silently to himself:

_October 4, 2018_

_Dear Blaine,_

_If you're reading this letter it's because I couldn't find you to speak with you in person - although that doesn't mean I'm not still hopeful that we will meet. That's the first thing you should know – I will never lose hope when it comes to us. I'm at a time in my life where hope means everything to me and where YOU mean everything to me. I'll elaborate more in person – that is if after reading this letter you would do me the honour of meeting with me. But first, I need to explain and apologize… _

_I am so sorry that I abandoned you. Those are not just words on paper, Blaine. Those words come straight from my heart and soul. I am sorry that I didn't let you love me. I am sorry that I threw everything we had worked so hard for away. The truth is… leaving our apartment that day was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It was heart-wrenching for me and I know it was equally if not more heart-wrenching for you. I've been sorry for it every minute. _

_But I don't regret it… because it was a necessary step for me and inevitably for us. We had been very close you and I. You knew me better than I knew myself so I'm not sure if this will come as a shock to you – maybe you knew … but for many years now – since I was eight, my therapist says, I have been battling depression. I've actually been diagnosed, medicated, and have gone through two years of intense therapy. I had to fix myself, Blaine. I had to learn how to deal with everything, how to grieve my mother's and Finn's deaths, how to accept and love myself, and how to cope with any new challenges or triggers that could come into my life. I am still a work in progress but I now know that I am strong and I deserve to be loved and deserve to love in return. I am capable of that, Blaine. I am capable of loving whole-heartedly and purely. That's where you come in because there is no one I want to love but you. _

_I have loved you since the day I met you and every single day since then. I have loved you through these excruciating three years and I love you now. I love you now more than ever if you can imagine it. And I will love you every day until I die. I'm asking for the chance to show you my love, to prove my love again. _

_I'm not expecting for you to drop everything – I don't even know if you're available – I mean, I would be surprised if someone hasn't scooped you up by now given the fact that you are pretty much perfect. __J_

_But in all seriousness, I'm asking … no, pleading with you … for a chance. I just want to see you and talk with you and see where things go from there. I want to explain and apologize to you in person. I want to give you a hug and smile into your beautiful eyes. _

_Blaine, I am so in love with you. Please let me show you. Let me hold your hand again._

_All my love,_

_Kurt._

_p.s. if you don't have my number it's 330 865 1985_

Blaine saw the wet splattered marks of fallen tears on the cream-coloured paper. He quickly wiped his eyes with a shaking hand. He placed that hand into Kurt's and squeezed while he read the letter again … and again and again.

His heart was broken. Kurt suffered from depression. How had he not picked up on this? How had he not known that his soul mate was in so much anguish every day? He felt guilt creep in. He should have known. He should have helped. He squeezed Kurt's hand again and vowed silently to him – he was going to do things right this time, he was going to help Kurt through every dip in the road because turning back or abandoning the path was no longer an option. They would be together again, in love, taking care of each other and taking on the world.

He read the letter again. His soul screamed with pure love for Kurt. If there had been any doubt before that Kurt still loved him, if there was any worry in Blaine's heart that Kurt would reject him, it was all wiped away with this one single letter. Kurt loved him. Kurt was _in love_ with him. They had a future together – all he needed was for Kurt to wake up.

He stood up and gazed down at Kurt with watery eyes and tear-stained cheeks. His hand tugged Kurt's upward to his lips; he kissed each knuckle … his heart skipped a few beats almost in slow motion as his lips touched Kurt's skin … his fingertips trailed swooping paths up Kurt's arm and back down to his wrists. He clutched Kurt's hand to his chest, holding it there for a long time as tears fell. A whisper, "I'm so in love with you too, Kurt. I never stopped and I never will. Please baby, squeeze my hand. I need you now more than ever to wake up." He kissed his knuckles again and closed his eyes while his lips remained pressed to Kurt's hand. He prayed silently to every Deity only asking for one thing: for the love of his life to wake up.


	12. Chapter Eleven - Trapped

**Chapter Eleven: Trapped **

October 2018

Kurt was exhausted. He had been fighting for weeks. It was like his mind, his heart, and his soul were screaming to be let out of a body that refused to cooperate. His brain kept flashing memories of the past few years. He saw vivid images of himself, his dad, Carole, Cynthia, and even of a strange man he didn't recognize. He heard muffled noises, he thought it was of people talking but he couldn't be sure. He felt sensations in his hands and arms. He could see soft light and shadows through his closed lids. He tried everything in his power to open his eyes, everything to move even an inch but he couldn't. He tried to make any noise he could but his vocal chords failed him. He was confused, scared, and in sheer panic at his state. His mind raced at a million miles a minute yet felt sluggish and hazy.

And his body hurt. He felt pain everywhere, his ribcage, his arms, his back, but mostly his head. It pounded. At times it was excruciating then turned into a dull ache until it ramped up to excruciating again. He tried to moan and whimper but again his voice failed him.

In this moment, he sensed that he was alone with the stranger as he could only hear one muffled voice. He felt a warm sensation in his hand and along his forearm. He grew frustrated as he couldn't make out the mumbled noises. His heart seemed to still as he tried to listen, his breathing became shallow – still he could not make out who this person was and what they were trying to tell him.

Then his mind seemed to fail him again … an excruciating throb came into his head. Colours, flashes of white, and distorted images filled his mind. He tried to move but couldn't. He was in agony. He tried to ask for help but his body was listless, still, motionless. Kurt Hummel was trapped.


	13. Chapter Twelve - The Tree

**Chapter Twelve: The Tree **

October 2018

_Sweetheart…_

Blaine had been staring at the incoming text message for a while. He was postponing the inevitable. There was no way he could go back to Kevin now. There was no way it would ever work between them – not now that he had found Kurt again … and that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kurt loved him. But he was sad because he knew what it felt like to have your heart broken. And Kevin's heart would break, he knew Kevin's love and how invested he had been in their relationship.

He placed his phone on the table and turned towards Kurt. He was alone in the room with him. Carole had wanted to get out of the hospital – she had been going a little stir crazy so Burt took her to Central Park. Blaine had spent the morning with Kurt, talking and holding his hand. It had been a week since he read the letter and every day since then Blaine had remained by his side, only leaving to use the bathroom and take short walks to the cafeteria, and a couple days he had gone home quickly to shower and change clothes.

His phone buzzed…

_Blaine?_

He sighed and picked up the phone. He had to do it. He had to get it over with.

_I'm here. _

_Hi :) _

_Hi. _

_How are you doing? How is Kurt? _

_There's been no change. I am surprisingly well. Are you ok? _

_I don't know yet._

Blaine stood up. He leaned over Kurt and kissed the top of his head very gently, "I'll be right back." Once he was in the hallway he pressed the call button beside Kevin's name. There was no way he could break up with someone over text.

Kevin answered. His voice was shy and hopeful, "hello, Sweetheart."

"Kevin"

"Blaine, I need to apologize to you…"

"Kevin"

"No, really. I am so sorry. I will be patient, I just don't want to lose you. I love you too much to let you go."

"Kevin"

"What is it?"

Blaine closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. "I'm so sorry…"

"Blaine?" Kevin's voice was weak laced with panic.

"It's over, Kevin. I didn't mean for this to happen but I can't and don't want to ignore the fact that Kurt is back in my life. I am so, so sorry."

"Are you sure," Kevin said in a small broken voice.

"Yes." What he didn't say was that he had never been more sure of anything in his life. Kurt was who he belonged with.

"Blaine, you just broke my heart."

"I'm sorry."

"That means nothing to me," Kevin said between sobs. "Goodbye."

Blaine's heart was heavy and he felt like the most horrible person. He hated that he was the one to break Kevin's heart because Kevin deserved far better than that. Kevin had been nothing but sweet, honest, honourable, and kind but Blaine couldn't ignore what his heart wanted and what his soul needed. And that was Kurt.

Blaine was back at Kurt's bedside. The nurse had just left from giving Kurt his daily medication through his IV. It was the same nurse who had sent Dr. Ryan to talk with him and the same nurse who had picked him up off the floor when all he could do was sob. Her name was Nicki and Blaine was grateful that Kurt had such wonderful care.

He smiled down at his … boyfriend? … friend? He reached to touch his face; the bruises were pretty much gone. Physically, he was healing and Blaine was glad for that. He pressed his palm against Kurt's cheek and caressed him there. He needed this closeness but it wasn't enough. He sat on the edge of his bed and carefully lay beside him. He had to lie on his side so that he didn't fall off the edge, but he didn't mind. He was beside Kurt. His body was warm. He draped his arm carefully across his chest, careful of his ribs. He nuzzled his head on Kurt's shoulder and closed his eyes. It was the first time he had lain with Kurt in more than three years. It was so emotional it brought tears to his eyes. He could feel Kurt breathing against him – Kurt may not be able to move or talk or respond but that small gesture of breathing alongside him was enough for Blaine. Given all the circumstances, the moment was perfect.

"Kurt, do you remember when I proposed to you - that evening before we checked into the hotel?" Blaine smiled at the memory. "I took you to our favourite tree. We sat there under a blanket and under the stars with my back against the trunk and your back to my chest. We had never been happier. We couldn't stop smiling and kissing and staring at you ring. I remember it was the first time that you let your guard down when it came to intimacy – you let me … take care of you right there out in the open. It was under the blanket but still, it was in a public place. We made it into our sanctuary – that tree only existed for us," he paused to reminisce and became quite emotional. "Oh, Kurt. It was so beautiful. You are so beautiful. We are so beautiful and you know what? Our future is so beautiful." Blaine hugged Kurt close to him and nuzzled his face into his neck. His lips mumbled against the familiar place on Kurt's throat. "I love you so much."


	14. Chapter Thirteen - I Love You, Kurt

**Chapter Thirteen: I Love You, Kurt **

November 2018

It was nearing the end of November. The past month had been filled with more doctors, nurses, medication, questions, and no answers. Kurt's state was the same but his family hadn't lost hope. Carole and Burt had temporarily moved in with Blaine after Kevin had cleared out of their apartment. Blaine spent every day at the hospital only leaving for an hour each morning to shower and change and for any work functions he had to attend to. Burt had made him go – it was only show openings and short meetings but it felt good to get out of the hospital and into civilization again. He even began to write on his laptop at Kurt's bedside. Every once in a while he would read what he had to Kurt – he liked sharing with him even though there was no response.

Some days were better than others. Blaine mostly maintained his optimistic disposition. Other days were really hard and were filled with worry and tears but one thing remained constant though-out it all and that was his love and loyalty to Kurt.

Blaine was very grateful when Mercedes and Rachel had stopped by to visit. Mercedes was first to arrive. She was in New York recording her next album and of course knew about Kurt. She saw Blaine first. "Blaine, I am so sorry." She hugged him tight and rubbed his back.

Blaine felt a relief wash over him as he nestled into Mercedes' embrace. It was nice to have friends; he needed the support. "Thank you for coming 'cedes. It means a lot to me and I'm sure to Kurt too."

"How is he? Any change at all?"

Blaine shook his head. "The doctors say there is brain activity and it's actually increasing so that is a positive but they can't predict if or when he'll come out of it." He looked down sadly.

Mercedes took his hand. "And how are you, honey?"

He shrugged. "Oh, I'm fine."

"Oh no. Have you forgotten who you're talking to? You don't have to be strong for me, Blaine. How are you really?"

He smiled at her. "You know, I really am doing okay. I mean, yes I'm sad. Yes, some days it's really emotional and I feel a sort of desperation in me. But all in all, there is no place I would rather be. I am beside Kurt again and I am optimistic."

"He is so lucky to have you."

"And I'm lucky to have him. It's been a long road and I know it's far from over but I know he loves me and I love him." He took her hands, "but hey, how are you? How is the record coming along?"

"It's been such a fantastic ride. I can't believe the success I've had."

"And how are things with Sam?"

Mercedes blushed. "He's… the one, Blaine."

Blaine's smile broadened. "Oh my god, finally you've seen the light!"

She laughed. "I know, I know. It took me a long time to settle but I know now that he's perfect for me."

"I'm so happy for you," Blaine hugged her again. They continued catching up for a bit then Blaine took her into Kurt's room. She sat beside him silently. Blaine could see that she was praying for him. He bowed his head and sat in silence. He only looked up when he heard Mercedes get up from her chair. He watched as she bent and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek. "I love you Kurt," she said in a broken voice.

About a week later Rachel showed up. She wasn't as poised as Mercedes was and Blaine actually had to calm her down. She had arrived at the hospital straight from the airport. She had been in London rehearsing for the revival of Funny Girl. "I left the minute I could, Blaine." She said as she ran in from the parking lot. "How is he? Oh my god, Blaine." Her eyes were dark and wide.

"Hey," Blaine took her by the arms and looked into her eyes. "He's okay. He hasn't woken up but we are optimistic. The important thing is that you remain calm. If you want to see him you need to calm down so that he doesn't sense the panic, okay? Please?"

"You're right. I'm sorry, I'm just so scared Blaine. He's my brother and even though we don't see each other as often as we'd like he's still my best friend."

"I know," Blaine pressed his lips together.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry. I'm being selfish. How are you? How have you been holding up?"

"No, no. Don't worry about me. I am fine. I don't like the circumstances but I do love being beside Kurt, supporting him."

"How did this happen? Did you two get back together? I've been so out of the loop since moving to London."

Blaine sat her down and explained everything that had happened in the last two months. Rachel scooted closer to him and nuzzled against him as she listened. "I knew you two would end up together, I just wish Kurt was awake to witness it."

Blaine slid his hand over hers. "In time," he said. And he hoped with all his might that he was right.

Rachel spent four days with Kurt, Blaine, Carole, and Burt. She talked and sang to Kurt every day but more importantly, Blaine thought, she was there for Burt and Carole. She would always be their daughter in law and even with Finn gone she was there to care for them and help keep them sane – even if it was only for a short time. Before she left the hospital Rachel was left alone with Kurt. She held his hand and sang to him – _Bring Him Home_ from Les Miserables. Tears streamed down her face as she remembered every single duet they had ever sung together. She was terrified of losing her best friend. "I'm so sorry I have to go. The show opens in two days and I know that you would kick my butt if I missed it so I'm going to go but Kurt, I love you so much. When you wake up I'm going to throw you the biggest party. It will be fabulous." She leaned and kissed his cheek. She lingered there for a bit before she had to force herself to leave the room.

Burt sat beside Kurt. Blaine had gone home to shower and he sent Carole down for coffee. He wanted to be alone with his son. He needed to talk to him but ironically he couldn't find the words. His chest was tight and he felt tears swelling in his eyes. He scooted closer so that he could reach his hand. "Son… You have always been the strongest one in our family. And I think you still are. There are a lot of people here who still need you around. It's time to shake the cobwebs out and wake up. I'm waiting for you, Carole is waiting for you, Rachel and Mercedes are waiting for you, and Kurt – Blaine has been waiting for you for so long." He squeezed Kurt's hand. "You can do this, I know you can." Tears finally fell in streaks down his cheeks as he lifted his son's hand and kissed it. "I love you, Kurt. Please don't leave us. Don't you dare."


	15. Chapter Fourteen - Awakening

**Chapter Fourteen: Awakening **

December 2018

The snow looked heavy as Blaine watched it fall outside the window. It had been a difficult morning. It was just one of those days where Blaine felt claustrophobic and a little stir crazy. He had been by Kurt's side for about two months – in the same room, sitting in the same chair, drinking the same cafeteria coffee, and watching out the same window at the same view. Sometimes, the only thing that kept him sane was talking to Kurt. He did this often – either reminiscing about their past or planning for their future.

He found himself at the edge of Kurt's bed. One hand clutched Kurt's and rested in his lap, the other stroked gently along Kurt's cheekbone. Kurt's physical injuries had improved dramatically – he almost looked like his old self. _He's so beautiful_, Blaine fawned over him. He bent down, because he just couldn't help it, and kissed his temple, then his forehead, then the tip of his nose. _Mine, mine, mine._

"I have a confession to make," Blaine told Kurt with a smile. "As I mentioned to you before, I've been writing for Broadway. The musical that I'm most proud of is called The Warblers. When I first had the idea to write a musical about Dalton and The Warblers I imagined it to be about the actual school and the group's comradery, its pride and its legacy but once I started writing, it just naturally morphed into something that was so much more." Blaine intertwined his fingers with Kurt's as he continued. "The story still ended up being about all those things but the main focus was on two characters – one was the lead vocalist of The Warblers who played off being confident and in control but in reality was unsure and just trying to find himself. The other was a recent transfer who was looking for an anchor, a sanctuary, and acceptance. They ended up finding each other. The Warblers became a love story. And I realized that when I look back to my time at Dalton and with The Warblers there is one thing that stands out above everything – and that is you, Kurt. You and me and our love."

When Blaine said the last word, _love_, his voice trailed off because he thought he had felt something but couldn't be sure. He paused and remained quiet. He looked down at his hand clutched with Kurt's and waited. After a few seconds, the sensation came again. It was a squeeze. Kurt was squeezing his hand. _Am I imagining this? Oh my God!_ "Kurt," he whispered. "I'm here. I'm right here." He squeezed Kurt's hand in return and waited for another squeeze and it came – stronger this time. Blaine let out a long sigh, realizing that he had been holding his breath. "Kurt, wake up baby."

Blaine pressed the nurses call button. Kurt was now squeezing his hand hard and his eyelids were fluttering slightly. Blaine couldn't believe his eyes but at the same time he knew this moment would come. Kurt, the love of his life, was waking up. He was coming out of the coma and Blaine couldn't be happier. "Come on, baby. Kurt. Wake up. You can do this."

Burt, Carole, Blaine, Dr. Ryan, and Nurse Nicki were now gathered in Kurt's room. They had all witnessed Kurt's silent and slow awakening. Dr. Ryan stood beside his bed making notes on his charts as Nicki readied various tests for when Kurt was a little more awake. Burt had Carole's hand clutched in his a little too tightly as he watched his son. Blaine was standing on the other side of Kurt's bed. His eyes were wide and misty – he never took his eyes off of Kurt for even a second. He felt that his heart would explode from happiness and his soul was screaming at him to shower Kurt's face with kisses but he knew he had to hold back. No one in the room wanted to spook Kurt or make him feel uncomfortable.

Kurt blinked gently and looked around the room. He was in a state of confusion. His brain was hazy and his body felt like it was made of lead. He spotted his dad and step-mom near his bed, "Dad," his voice was hoarse from not being used in more than two months. He cleared it and tried again, "Dad, what happened?"

Burt stepped forward and took Kurt's hand. "Shhh, there is no need to talk about that now. All you need to know is that you are safe and we are all here to support you and love you."

Blaine couldn't hold back any longer. He stepped forward beside Burt and smiled brightly. There was no way he could contain his happiness. "Kurt... I'm so happy that you're awake. I love you so, so much."

Kurt's blue-green pools searched Blaine's hazel ones. He looked from Blaine to his dad then back to Blaine. His expression was one of confusion and even alarm. Finally, his gaze settled onto Blaine's smiling face before speaking hesitantly, "I… I'm sorry but… do I know you?"


	16. Chapter Fifteen - Re-acquaintance

**Chapter Fifteen – Re-acquaintance **

December 2018

Blaine was inconsolable. He was at home still in his pyjamas curled up on his couch. He kept thinking of the previous day – the day that was supposed to be the happiest had quickly turned into the most devastating. Kurt didn't remember him. _Do I know you?_ Blaine couldn't get the words out of his head. He pressed his face to his hands and started crying again. How could fate be so cruel? After everything they'd been through in their lives, after finding each other again, after the turmoil he had recently gone through, the universe decided to throw another wicked turn in the road.

Carole walked in with tea. "Oh honey, you're crying again." She set the tea down on the table and sat beside him. "Come on." She opened her arms and Blaine leaned in. She said in her nurturing tone, "I know this is extremely hard, Blaine and you have every right to be upset and sad but I need to tell you – you will get through this. You are such a strong individual."

Blaine sat up and turned towards her. "It just really hurts, Carole. I mean, he remembers you and Burt but not me."

"Yes, but you know there's an explanation for that. Dr. Ryan said that he's only remembering a fraction of what he should be. He remembers me and Burt because we were the last people close to him he saw before the accident." She stroked his back and dipped her head to look into his eyes.

"It's difficult to understand. I mean, I guess there's a medical explanation but honestly Carole, our souls are so connected. It sounds cheesy but it's true. I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't remember his soulmate," he cried again. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he tried to wipe them away.

"Blaine, I have no doubt that his heart and soul remembers you. It's just his brain that doesn't. At least not right now. You heard the doc – it's very possible that he will remember you in time."

Blaine nodded. "So what do I do in the mean time? I feel like I don't belong. I feel like he doesn't want me there. I'm a complete stranger to him and it's awkward."

Carole gripped his hand and spoke very gently, knowing that this could set Blaine off again. "Honey, the way I see it you have two choices. It pains me to say this but the first choice is to move on with your life…"

Blaine gave her a shocked look and shook his head immediately, "no. no way."

"Listen, Burt and I both want the best for you. You deserve to have a life Blaine. A career, love, children…"

"Carole, please," Blaine took a deep breath trying to control himself. "I do deserve all those things but I only want all those things with Kurt."

"Well, the other option is for you to wait it out. He may never remember you Blaine – if that part of his brain is damaged - but that doesn't mean you can't reintroduce yourself to him. He maybe would like to get to know you again."

Blaine closed his eyes. This was all too much. It was too overwhelming.

Carole continued gently, "or while you're waiting he may remember. It could be tomorrow or next week or maybe not until next year. You have to make the choice honey. Burt and I want what's best for Kurt and for you."

Blaine leaned in to hug her. "I'm so thankful for you, Carole. I really don't know what I would do without you. Thank you."

"Like I said before, you are family to us and we will always be here for you."

Blaine's eyes met Carole's, "you know there is no way I can just walk away, right? I have to get him to remember me or at least have him get to know me again. But, Carole, what if he doesn't want me around?"

"Well, that's why Burt is talking to him right now," she smiled.

"About me?"

"About you."

Burt watched Kurt take a bite out of his toast. It was the first meal he'd had in months though it wasn't much of a meal. The doctors wanted to be careful not to overwhelm his body so they gave him plain toast and herbal tea to start with. Kurt had only taken a couple bites and a couple sips. He really wasn't hungry. He was still trying to decipher what exactly had happened to him and why he could only remember pieces of his life. He pushed the tray away gently and leaned back onto his bed. "Dad, I'm really glad I remember you. If I could only remember one person I would want it to be you."

Burt smiled, "I am honoured, kid. I am just happy that you woke up. You gave all of us quite a scare."

"I didn't mean to worry you and Carole."

"It's absolutely not your fault, son." He paused then added, "but you know, I think the person who was the most scared was Blaine."

Kurt stared at his father. "I know I'm supposed to know who this Blaine guy is but I just don't remember."

"Want me to tell you about him?"

"Was he that important that you should bother?"

Burt laughed, not out of humour but more out of shock. "Kid, if you remembered him there is no way you would need to ask that question." He sat up straighter in his chair and leaned forward. "Kurt, you met Blaine in your junior year of high school. And you've pretty much been deeply in love with him ever since."

Kurt raised a brow, "Oh. I kind of figured we had dated or something. I mean, because he looked at me with those amazing eyes the way people look at their significant others."

"You two have been through a lot together, good and bad, but the thing that has remained constant is your love for one another. Kurt, I absolutely don't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable but if you only listen to one thing I say please listen to this – give him a chance. I know you don't remember at all but don't push him away."

"Dad, you always told me to not talk to strangers, now you're telling me the opposite," he grinned.

Burt laughed, "this is a special circumstance."

"Well, okay. I guess I'll give it a try. He is pretty cute after all."

Burt got up and hugged his son. He was smiling inside because he knew it was only a matter of time before Kurt fell for Blaine again. It was inevitable.

Kurt had just returned from a shower and walk. He sat on the edge of his bed to comb his hair when Blaine peeked his head in. "May I come in?"

Kurt pulled his blue hospital robe closed around him. "Yeah. Sure."

Blaine stepped in and smiled. "Hi."

"Hi."

"I'm sorry if I've interrupted you."

Kurt didn't know why but he was drawn to him. He quite liked how Blaine was dressed, in simple grey pants, a blue button up and black bowtie. _Who wears a bowtie nowadays_, Kurt thought. _How adorable_. His clothes weren't the only thing that Kurt noticed though; there was something about his eyes that Kurt didn't quite understand. He couldn't stop gazing at him … into them.

"Kurt? Are you okay?"

Kurt blinked and refocused his eyes, "oh. Yeah. Sorry. I just blanked out there for a minute."

"It's okay," Blaine smiled at him and took a few more steps into the room.

"How rude of me. Please sit down," Kurt motioned to the chair beside his bed. He had no idea that Blaine had spent many nights in that same chair watching over him, professing his love to him, crying tears of sorrow, and even sleeping the night.

"Thanks." He sat down and looked up at Kurt's beautiful face. He had healed up nicely and now that he had a shower and his hair was coiffed in vintage Kurt Hummel style Blaine's heart was all aflutter.

Kurt sat back onto his bed. "Sooo, my dad tells me that we were an item."

Blaine laughed. "You could umm … say that. Did he tell you that we were engaged at one point?"

Kurt's mouth dropped. "Engaged? Like, to be married?"

"Yes, of course. I proposed to you, Kurt. It was a big fancy spectacle complete with multiple show choirs and everyone we know was there. I prepared this huge speech which I forgot in the moment because I was so nervous and you were so stunning … so I kind of made up a different speech right on the spot," Blaine smiled at the memory. "I got down on one knee and asked you and you said yes." His eyes lifted to Kurt's, searching.

"Wow. I guess I must've been a pretty lucky guy then. I mean, if you went through all that trouble."

Blaine looked at him seriously. "It was no trouble, Kurt. You were … you are … the love of my life. How could I not do something special for you?"

Kurt looked down and hugged his knees to his chest. Blaine gave a soft sigh. "I'm sorry. I forget that I'm a stranger to you. It must be weird for a stranger to tell you that you are the love of his life. I'm so sorry Kurt, I don't mean to push you."

"No, it's okay. I mean, I feel terrible that I don't remember all these beautiful moments. Truth be told, it sounds like we … were sort of meant for each other."

Blaine nodded. "There is no doubt in my mind that we still are."

Kurt smiled. "Well, for what it's worth … what I've learned about you so far I like. And we both know I could use a friend right now. So Blaine, it's very nice to meet you and I would love it if you told me more stories about … us."

Blaine grinned brightly. "Kurt Hummel, it would be my honour."


	17. Epilogue - Teenage Dream

**Epilogue: Teenage Dream **

February 2019

Blaine had given up his apartment and had put most of his belongings in storage so that he could move back to Lima with the Hummels. He left everything behind in New York except for his career. Really he could write from anywhere. He spent his days caring for Kurt but also writing in his down time. Carole and Burt had been right – it didn't make any sense to leave his career behind. He wanted to be the best man he could be for Kurt and that included being successful. He vowed to work really hard for their relationship – for their future relationship – in every way.

The doctors had given Kurt the clearance to go home just after Christmas. Burt and Carole had taken him home while Blaine reluctantly stayed in New York to tie up loose ends before he joined them in Lima in January. There of course was never a doubt that he would not join them but Kurt had been surprised when Blaine showed up. That was the moment when Kurt realized that Blaine was there to stay and that he must've _really_ loved him. He was actually floored that Blaine had relocated from an amazing place like New York City to spend time with him in Lima. He just really wished he could remember the handsome bow-tie wearing man.

Since Blaine arrived in Lima at the beginning of January he had spent a lot of time with Kurt. It had all been platonic, which drove Blaine crazy. He of course had all his memory in tact. He remembered every moment with Kurt since the very beginning. It took everything in his power to not fall into step with him. He had to consciously remember to not grasp his hand or caress his face. He tried his hardest to be patient for Kurt and hoped he would realize that they really were soulmates.

Kurt spent his days trying to fall into the routine of his former life. There were still things he couldn't remember – many things but little by little he felt more like himself. He returned to the Lima Community Theatre and still saw his therapist twice a month. The time that Kurt loved the most though was the moments he spent with Blaine. The stranger in his life was quickly becoming a friend. He liked the way Blaine took care of him – even though he didn't remember it was clear that they had once had something special. The way Blaine looked at him and spoke to him was so endearing it was possible to ignore.

"Would you like more pancakes," Blaine offered one with a spatula.

"No, thank you. I'm full. They were so good Blaine, where did you get the recipe?"

Blaine smiled, "you taught me how to make them."

"I did?"

"Yeah. You taught me a lot of things, Kurt."

Kurt smiled and nodded but the frustration on his face was evident. _I just want to remember_. Blaine noticed his frustration – he could still read him like a book. Blaine stood from the table. "I'm going to just clean up these dishes then I want to take you somewhere. Will you come with me?"

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"To our tree."

"Our … tree?"

Blaine smiled as he stacked the plates. "You'll see."

Kurt grinned as he helped Blaine clear the table. Blaine slipped his hand around Kurt's wrist gently. "Please, let me clean up. You relax. It won't take me long." Kurt's eyes flickered as he looked at Blaine's hand around his wrist.

"It'll go faster if I help you. I really want to get to this tree you're talking about."

Blaine grinned. "Okay." He winked at him then turned toward the sink and started rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

Kurt blushed softly then turned toward the water cooler to fill his glass.

Blaine subconsciously started singing gently – almost under his breath - as he usually did when he did random chores but it was loud enough that Kurt could hear it. "My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby I believe…"

Kurt stopped pouring as he felt a jolt curse through his body and straight into his heart. He stopped pouring water and tuned in to listen closer.

"…this is real. So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back."

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat and images flashed in his mind in vibrant colour. It's like his brain was flipping through a slide show at a million miles a minute. As he realised what was happening his eyes flickered and widened while his heart swelled. His hand let the glass slip through his grip and shatter with a crash on the tile floor below, water splashing all over his shoes.

Blaine was just pouring soap into the dishwasher when he heard the glass shatter. He jumped, his body startled. He turned and watched as Kurt turned toward him seemingly in slow motion. "Kurt? Are you alright?"

Kurt's eyes were wide and moist. He lifted his gaze to look into Blaine's familiar hazels. All he could do was stare as the images in his mind continued to flip.

Blaine stepped forward, crushing bits of glass beneath his shoes and placed his hand on Kurt's arm. "Kurt?"

"Blaine," Kurt breathed. "That song."

Blaine's gaze locked with Kurt's and intensified … somehow Kurt's blue pools were different than they had been two minutes ago. He could see the realisation in them … the love that they held. He hadn't even realized he had been singing. _Song … Teenage Dream_. "Kurt," he responded in a whisper.

"B-Blaine," Kurt blinked quickly, his lashes coaxing the tears down his cheeks. "I… I remember you."

Blaine squeezed his bicep and his eyes began to blink rapidly, he knew he would cry. His voice cracked, "K-Kurt…"

Kurt pressed his hand to Blaine's heart and looked at him with a wide but knowing gaze, "I remember everything."

As soon as Blaine felt the weight of Kurt's hand on his racing heart … as soon as he heard those words_, I remember everything_, he began to sob. It couldn't be controlled. All the worry and emotion he had been feeling since October was released. "Are you sure?" His voice broke.

Kurt placed both his hands on either side of Blaine's face and moved closer. His thumbs caressed him gently. "I remember when we first met on the Dalton staircase and you took my hand. I remember our first duet that Christmas – Baby It's Cold Outside, I remember our first kiss in the Commons Room at Dalton, I remember when you transferred to McKinley just for us." His sobs now matched Blaine's. They were crying together in unison. "I remember our first time. I remember every duet. I remember our coffee dates. I remember every kiss, Blaine. I remember every break-up including the last one. And I remember I was on my way to find you when I was hit." Kurt's eyes widened. "Oh god. Blaine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I didn't mean to abandon you I was just so depressed and I didn't…"

Blaine pressed his finger gently to Kurt's mouth, "Shhh, baby. Shhh. I know. Your dad found the letter you wrote and I read it. It's ok. Everything is ok. I understand and I love you so much, Kurt … _so, so_ much."

Kurt took a slow breath and leaned his forehead to Blaine's again. His eyes closed and he whispered against his lips, "I remember that I love you more than anything in this world." He pressed his lips to Blaine's mouth and just like that everything was right again. Blaine felt the intense fireworks course through his entire body. His hands slid around Kurt's waist as he pulled him closer. He had waited four years for this moment. He had fought hell itself for this moment. Finally, Kurt was his again. He pressed his tongue into his mouth to deepen the kiss as Kurt's arms wrapped around his shoulders. Time stood still and when the kiss was finally broken, they pressed their foreheads together. Breathlessly, Blaine whispered softly, "I need to be straight with you Kurt."

Kurt leaned back and lifted a brow.

Blaine smiled into him, "you are mine." He trailed leaned in and kissed up Kurt's jaw and whispered into his ear. "And I am never ever, ever going to let you go again." He leaned back and grasped both of Kurt's hands. "Do you hear me, Kurt Hummel? From this day forward we are going to be together forever."

"I hear you very well, Blaine Warbler. You are stuck with me," he grinned. "Forrrrreeevvveerrr."

It was a week later - Valentine's Day. The day was cold but the sun's rays shined through the branches above casting whimsical shapes on the crisp snow below. Kurt and Blaine walked through the sunny patches crunching the snow beneath their boots. Their woolen hands clutched together as they came to a stop under their tree. Kurt gave Blaine a toothy grin. "Come here," he pulled him close and pressed him back against the tree's trunk. He kissed his frosty lips gently.

"Mmm. I want more of those please," Blaine murmured.

Kurt kissed him again. "I didn't bring you here to kiss you. Well, I did, but I brought you here for two other reasons too." Kurt knew they had been officially back together for only a week but he also knew that they had been in love for a lifetime so what he was about to do made perfect sense in his mind – and if he was being honest with himself, he didn't want to and shouldn't have to wait so he wasn't going to.

"Oh?" Blaine smiled. "Is it so that we could visit Pavarotti?"

"I will always love that little Warbler but there's one Warbler that I love even more and that is you." Kurt tapped Blaine's nose softly. "I brought you here to prove to you that I remember. I remember everything Blaine, everything about us."

Blaine smiled. "That makes me so happy. _You_ make me so happy."

Kurt leaned in to kiss him again. He just couldn't help himself. "The other reason is because I wanted to give you this." He fished a box out of his pocket and opened it revealing a bright golden band.

Blaine leaned up away from the trunk and looked into Kurt with wide eyes. His irises were more of a seafoam colour than blue in the winter sun. His mouth opened to speak but nothing came out.

Kurt said softly with moist eyes, "Blaine Anderson, you are the love of my life and even-though we have been to hell and back I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are my best friend and my soulmate." His voice caught in his throat from the emotion. "And I am not going to lose you ever again. In fact I want to spend every day of my life loving you," Kurt smiled at him, "which is why my heart is aching to know…" He kneeled down in the snow and looked upward "if you would do me the honour of being my husband. Blaine Warbler, will you marry me?"

Blaine couldn't contain his tears. He couldn't contain his sobs. He couldn't contain his sheer happiness. He fell to his knees in front of Kurt and pressed his forehead to his. His breath could be seen in the crisp winter air as he gasped out the words, "there is _nothing_ in this world that could keep me from marrying you. I love you, Kurt and the answer is yes – a million times yes!"

The temperature was cold but Kurt and Blaine felt warm as they professed their love to each other. They kissed again under their tree, the sunlight gleaming through the branches and onto Blaine's band of gold. The moment was perfect. The moment was the beginning of the rest of _their_ lives. Kurt knew that together they would experience everything they had dreamed of and there was no way he would ever forget this day. He looked into Blaine's golden eyes and blushed when he realized Blaine was holding his gaze. They now stood swaying together, slow dancing to the beat of their unified hearts. Blaine's hands followed Kurt's arms downward and found his hands … their fingers intertwined and everything was right again and would be so for the rest of their days.


End file.
